Control the Power of Words and Skyrocket Your Self-Esteem

The power of words, especially those words we say to ourselves without even consciously realizing it, are the single most important factor in influencing your belief in yourself and your self-esteem.  Did you know that our brains are continuously thinking at a rate of 1500 thoughts per minute, and it is estimated that fully 80% of those thoughts are negative?

The Second Edition of the 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary contains full entries for 171,476 words in current use, while the Positive Word Dictionary contains entries for 1,800 words.   It is any wonder that we are bombarded with negative messages when our language itself is only 1% positive?

Dr. Masaru Emoto, a pioneer Japanese researcher, documented an astonishing study that thoughts and feelings affect physical reality by photographing water molecules after they had been exposed to music as well as written and spoken words.   The water molecules exposed to positive words, such as those expressing gratitude, were beautifully formed, while those exposed to negative words were badly misshapen.  He has proven that human vibrational energy, thoughts, words, ideas and music affect the molecular structure of water, the very same water that comprises over seventy percent of a mature human body.

power of words

Heavy metal music

power of words

Beethoven's Pastorale








power of words

You make me sick

power of words

Thank you







Your health, your self-confidence and your success are all impacted by controlling the message playing in your head.

Tell yourself you are a failure.  You will notice your shoulders slump, your eyes dart away, and your voice is a mumble.  Bosses have a way of pointing out all your shortcomings and mistakes, and telling you about the weaknesses you need to work on.  One statistic says that the average employee hears 8 negative messages for each positive one.  Is this a way to inspire? Of course not!  That is why so many people working for someone else end up becoming more and more dissatisfied with their jobs and their lives, but don’t do anything about it.  The negativity drains their energy and eventually will impact their health as well.

Now tell yourself, “I can do it!”  Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, look directly at yourself in the mirror and speak loudly and clearly.  Do you feel the difference?  Now do this over and over until you believe it.  This is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.  If you have employees working for you, find ways to emphasize their strengths, not their weaknesses.  If any corrections need to be made, do it in a positive manner.  Psychology 101 says that all negative messages should be “sandwiched” between two positive ones.  This 2:1 positive ratio is a far cry from the 1:8 that most managers use.  It is common wisdom that “what you focus on expands”, so doesn’t it make more sense to focus on strengths rather than weaknesses?

You have to consciously retrain your brain to think positively.  Learn to recognize when the message is negative, and reframe it immediately in a positive manner.

I once had a conversation with a woman who had left her job to become a life coach, and she stated that she knew plenty of people who needed her help but were not willing to hire her.  Her opinion was that these prospects were just not willing to spend money on improving their lives.  Now, I tend to be an empathetic listener, so when she said that, I didn’t disagree with her.  Later on, I found myself saying this very same thing out loud to my husband.  What happened here?  I had no basis for this belief other than hearing it from someone else, yet it seemed to become part of my belief system.  I had let her experiences shape my own.  The power of words is such that you have to counteract every negative statement with a positive one.  In this particular instance, I transformed the statement from this:

“Prospects are not willing to spend money on improving their lives.”

To this:

“Prospects are not willing to spend money on improving their lives until they are clear on the benefits and transformation a coach can bring into their lives.”

You can see how the first statement is a limiting belief, while the revised version is more inspirational.  It lays the groundwork for positive actions that you can take if you want to achieve the result of getting people to invest in improving their lives.

Words are so powerful they can change lives.  Control your words, both those in your head and those said out loud and you will notice a major improvement in your self-esteem and your confidence levels.

Here’s my challenge for you:  Pick one person in your life that is very important to you – your spouse, your child, your best friend, whoever – and for the next week carefully control every word you say to him or her so that the messages are only positive.  Compliment them, lift them up with positive encouragement, show your gratitude by saying thank you, and come back here in a week’s time to tell us how this work


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